


How much more can you take away from me?

by Daredevilishious



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Face Slapping, Forced Marriage, Hair-pulling, He's a predator and an abuser that and many other things is what he is, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt Anakin Skywalker, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Manipulative Sheev Palpatine, Other, Screaming, Self-Blame, Sheev Palpatine Being An Asshole, Suffering, Victim Blaming, poor anakin skywalker, scratch that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daredevilishious/pseuds/Daredevilishious
Summary: The young Jedi looked up at the sky, covered by thick suffocating smoke clouds and bitter sulfidic smell. Tears were falling freely now and the emptiness in his heart was replaced by burning pain as he screamed at the top of his lungs. He screamed as ashes fell all around him like snow, he screamed to the Force for making him exist, for making him constantly hurt those around him, those he held dear and loved. He screamed at the injustice of it all, how they all had to die while he got to live.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, Sheev Palpatine & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	How much more can you take away from me?

Cold. Numb. It was the closest to what Anakin Skywalker could describe himself if anyone were to ask him how he felt at that moment. Honestly he did not know how or what he felt in that moment on Mustafar as he cradled Obi-Wan’s motionless body in his lap. All he was truly aware of was the deep gnawing and growing hole in his heart that only kept on growing and filling the rest of his body with bone-chilling cold despite the hellish temperatures of this Force-forsaken vulcano. He remembered that his arms were motionless and heavy like stone where he was holding his Master’s pale and ash stained face on his lap. Perhaps there were tears falling down his cheeks perhaps he was just imagining them but it did not matter in the end. Obi-Wan wasn’t waking up.

With what little energy he had Anakin turned his frozen neck to gaze where another lifeless body of a woman was lying. Padme. His fault too. Force where did it all go so kriffing wrong?! 

_When you left Tatooine and entered their life,_ a quiet voice inside his head whispered, _hell even before that. The moment you were born you were nothing but a nuisance and a chore to your Mother. She would have been better off without you. Maybe she would even be alive right now if it wasn’t for you._

And if tears weren’t there before they certainly were now. It was true, wasn’t it? It was his own fault for all the bad things happening to those around him. He was nothing but a menace that could never do anything right but cause pain, suffering and death. If it wasn’t for him Mother would still be alive, Ahsoka wouldn’t leave, Obi-Wan- Obi-Wan wouldn’t have to be so stressed all the time, Padme would achieve more if she didn’t have such a clingy crybaby around all the time, his troopers… His wonderful crazy troopers… Kix, Fives, Jesse, Tup, Dogma…. they would be still alive and possibly even free… Rex… 

_ ‘Oh Rex,’ _ he cried as his thoughts were flooded with images and memories of his wonderful Captain.  _ ‘I am so sorry my love… Where are you? Are you dead too? Have I caused your demise as well?!’ _

The young Jedi looked up at the sky, covered by thick suffocating smoke clouds and bitter sulfidic smell. Tears were falling freely now and the emptiness in his heart was replaced by burning pain as he screamed at the top of his lungs. He screamed as ashes fell all around him like snow, he screamed to the Force for making him exist, for making him constantly hurt those around him, those he held dear and loved. He screamed at the injustice of it all, how they all had to die while he got to live. 

His voice carried through the winds of the planet like a bird in flight. It was truly a heart wrenching sound, not a battle cry not a cry of revenge. It was a cry of a broken, hysteric, desperate man, boy, a child who had no fight left, who had it all and lost it all. He screamed until his voice ran hoarse and yet he still screamed on top of his lungs. And yet eventually his voice left him until all that remained was silence and tears mixed with ashes and dust. 

Anakin lowered his head once more, his sky blue eyes staring at the pale and motionless face of Obi-Wan and if he had any energy left he would scream again but his voice was gone, his throat aching and swollen unable to produce any sounds. So instead only tears remained until even those were gone. And he was finally truly alone.

A ship landed behind him and suddenly the Force grew impossibly col, and suffocating and  _ dark. _ Yet Anakin didn’t move, come at him what may. At least he won’t be able to hurt anybody ever again. 

Tap. Tap. Tap _. _

Dread started to fill his stomach as the tapping of a walking cane approached nearer and nearer. He didn’t dare move, out of fear of who will be there or because somewhere in his core he knew that he will have to say goodbye to Obi-Wan and Padme forever one way or another he did not know but he held Obi-Wan’s face a tad more tightly between his fingers, still unresponsive and still so deathly pale.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap,

No! No he wasn’t ready, he- he couldn’t just let them go! He- he- 

  
Tap. Tap. Tap.Tap. _Tap._

The last tap echoed in his ears like ringing of bells whenever there is a disaster approaching. And then-

Silence.

Anakin still didn’t move. He couldn’t leave. He- he couldn’t just leave them here like that. No that wouldn’t be right, a burial is the least he could do for them…

“It seems you have done your job well,” came a voice from behind him.

It was old, ancient even. and perhaps if Anakin was still a child he would’ve mistaken it for the voice of a friendly grandfather congratulating him on a good grade. But now… Now he noticed it, hidden but visible at the same time, the thin string of malice and darkness cleverly disguised as the creaking of an elderly man’s voice. 

“Rise Darth Vader and together we shall rule our new Empire.”

It was not a request, Anakin was far beyond believing the Sith’s petty lies. But it still made him feel giddy, like he was still worthy of something, to somebody. Like he wasn’t completely useless. Like he wasn’t a complete failure. However… his stomach twisted at the tone the Sith used to deliver this line. Sure it was said as a Master knighting a Padawan or… a Sith accepting a new apprentice but… There was more to it… It was… suggestive. And and order, demand, something that he has no choice but to accept. 

“Come now _ my Emperor _ . The Empire awaits.”

Anakin’s blood ran cold. His eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat. ‘ _ My...Emperor?’ _ Slowly, Anakin turned his stone like heavy neck to stare at the Sith Lord in shock. 

“W-what…?”

Sidious grinned from underneath his hood, his eyes glowing like lava down below mixed with bright red blood. 

“You are to be my Emperor-consort, Lord Vader. An important part of the Empire lies on you, my dear. One I cannot perform by myself I’m afraid,” he said in mock compassion and sadness which might have worked if Anakin was but a week younger. 

The Force around them was still and quiet, yet dark and cold despite the heat of the planet. Anakin felt the warmth of his tears, the cold of his sweat moisturizing and the falling ashes staining his skin, his vision was blurring at the edges from sheer exhaustion, he barely felt the ground beneath him or his still stone-like neck or his numb fingers still holding the unmoving face of Obi-Wan. His mouth was dry and he could taste the bitter and burning taste of ashes, tears and sweat on his lips and tongue. His ears were ringing, the Sith’s words echoing in his head. ‘ _ My Emperor… Emperor-consort… cannot perform by myself…’ _ It all sounded so wrong and by instinct he moved his hand to rest on his lower abdomen. 

“No.. No...No, I-I can’t I can’t do this no…”

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was saying or if he even heard the Sith correctly but then again he did have to deal with too much today and for the past 23 years of his life. He shook his head frantically repeating the litany of  _ ‘no’s _ ’ and ‘ _ can’t _ ’ because he. Has. Had Enough. All he wanted to do was to crawl into some dark quiet and remote corner of the galaxy where nobody would find him, lay down and die. Anything,  _ ANYTHING _ , to stop his head from exploding, away from people he could hurt, away from wars, away from the Empire, away from the Sith and the Jedi… Just somewhere where he can die alone in peace and just be done for already. 

Behind him the Emperor chuckled darkly. “I do not remember making a request my dear. You were chosen. There is no way you can turn it around. Now come.”

The Sith was no longer trying to sound nice, the trails of impatience and anger slipping into his voice. Still Anakin refused.

“No… No I can’t… I can’t. I can’t go- I can’t leave them no- no- no… n-”

The impact of a hand connecting with his cheek really took him by surprise. Anakin stumbled aside on his knees and for a moment he forgot who or where he was. His vision went white and for a moment the pain was not even there. It seemed like an eternity but eventually he came back to himself and brought a trembling hand to his burning cheek. The Force was freezing around him, enough to block out all the heat from the volcanic planet. He had barely enough time to attempt to flinch away when he more felt than saw the Emperor move his walking cane towards his face. He caught him tho and hooked the end under the young man’s chin and turned his head to look at the Emperor. The Sith’s eyes were not golden orange lava color any more tut straight up bloody red with fury and rage. 

“You poor pathetic simple fool,” the Sith cooed in mockery. “Mourning over the dead will not bring them back. And even if it would I am sure they would want to live with a menace like you. You are only good for trouble and hurting others. All you do is bring pain. Anywhere you go you bring chaos and death. I wonder why I let you live this long really.” The emperor trailed off for a moment. “No matter,” he said and grinned again. “I still can make use of you.”

Anakin did not dare to move. He was pretty sure he would cry if his tear ducts weren’t empty already. Or he wouldn’t. He didn’t know what he would do at this point. He already knew he was all those things, he knew he was a bad omen, that he was only good for ruining people’s lives but to have it been told to his face like this… He was honestly surprised the pain he already felt could only intensify. 

“Oh poor little Jedi is going to cry,” Sidious mocked. “Too bad the Jedi are no more. Terminated by their own troopers. I must say 501st did the most amazing job.” Anakin’s head snapped to attention despite the muggled thoughts, numbness in his limbs back and neck, the pain in his chest and his vision blurring each second, his dry eyes wide. The Emperor smirked. “Oh yes your “friends” were the first ones to enter the Temple. Impressive work. THey got rid of most of the Jedi pests… Even the younglings.”

If Anakin had any voice left he would ask questions, demand answers, anything to confirm it were all lies that this did not happen, that his men did not do such a thing. That… That Rex… His Rex.. no…

“Ah yes, CT-7567. What was it again? Rex yes,” the Emperor tutted in fake thought. “While I will admit I am disappointed for his absence in raiding the Temple I am afraid I know not of his whereabouts. A shame really he would be a great addition to the imperial army.” He turned back to face the young man on the floor. “No matter. Now you can only guess wether or not your lover is dead or not.”

It was quiet for a while before Sidious spoke again. “Come now Lord Vader, We have much to do.” He turned to leave.

Yet Anakin did not move. Rex was… Rex was not at the Temple.... That means he did not kill the Jedi- that means… That means he got his chip removed. That means he was most likely safe and alive somewhere out there. Anakin closed his eyes and for the first time in ages he smiled, genuinely smiled. Rex was safe, he was alive… His love was still out there. it was like a mountain of durasteel was lifted from his chest. Rex was okay…

Sidious turned back to see Anakin still half lying on the floor, the Force around him lightening and banishing his darkness. He was startled momentarily but tucked it down fast enough, summoning an unimpressed expression on his face. “Very well. Have it your way,” he said and stalked back towards the young man.

Anakin only became aware of the Sith again when his boots were right in front of him and he looked up at the very angry looking Sidious. The Force could only signal ‘ _ Danger! _ ’ once before without warning Anakin’s skull was on fire as he was lifted up and dragged befind the Emperor. He tried to scream and fight back. He wanted to cry but his voice was nothing except hoarse whimpering and his eyes were dry. His limbs were heavy from exhaustion and his chest was once again filled with pain and emptiness. His skull was on fire and all he could do is watch with aching blurry eyes as the bodies of Padme and Obi-Wan were further and further away from him. He wished he could get free of Sidious’ vice like grip but his body was useless. 

And so Anakin Skywalker was dragged onto the imperial ship screaming and protesting, if only in his head, soon to be married to the Emperor and becoming his consort, Darth Vader. Such a tragic ending indeed. If only there was anything left out there for him. Perhaps Serving the Emperor truly is the best thing for him now. No? I wholeheartedly agree. 

Perhaps this is not the end after all.

Perhaps….

Perhaps this is merely the beginning,

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone else hate Sidious more than anything right this moment? I do.
> 
> This is not really a part of the Child of the Desert, Son of the Force series but it can be seen as a "bad ending" of sorts. A spin off of a spin off if you will. 
> 
> Neither Padme or Obi-Wan are truly dead, blame the Force. Also no Anakin and Padme aren't dating/married cuz Ani is obviously with Rex. Also Luke and Leia aren't going to be siblings here. Luke is def AniRex child while I'm still not sure about Leia being an biological Organa or CodyWan child. What do you think? Lemme know in the comments. 
> 
> If you are curious about what Anakin- Darth Vader's purpose as Emperor-consort is... Read my other fic called "Anywhere I go I'm home (if we are there togrther)", Mainly that. And to amuse Sidious and his court. *cracks knuckles while practicing breathing techniques to calm down*
> 
> Okaaay. If you want to follow me on Tumblr (damedaredevilishious.tumblr.com) and DeviantArt (https://www.deviantart.com/ladydaredevilishious). It's mostly empty for now but I'm already working on changing that so stay tunned, 
> 
> Okay guys it's 5.40am I haven't slept at all I,,a head out. Thanks for reading. Vaitiara out.


End file.
